Happiness, is it real or Fake...

As I read my old posts I see that yeah I've been depressed and really depressed, and truthfully I think I still am...

I Hide, behind a smile because it's my way of not showing how hurt I actually am.

But lately its been hard, Yes I nailed my interview for pet sitting one weekend a month. But what about an everyday job...

I've given up almost on trying to get one because I have no experience in ANYTHING but Babysitting and Pets...

It hurts me knowing that I feel like since I graduated I shattered into pieces because thats when everything felt like it got worse even in the good times.

I'm in College almost done with my first year but I'm changing my Degree and Major, because I don't know what I want anymore.

The truth is I want my best friend back, But I know it's not possible. I want so many things right now and I don't know what to do..

Pieces of me or gone and missing or I know where they are but I just can't reach them right now but they will be close soon.

There are times where I'm soo happy I could cry but then there are the time where I hurt soo much I can't cry anymore.

I've been strong for too long and I know I need help, The question is... Can I ask for it...

I am happy, but I hide the pain..