Happiness, is it real or Fake...

As I read my old posts I see that yeah I've been depressed and really depressed, and truthfully I think I still am...

I Hide, behind a smile because it's my way of not showing how hurt I actually am.

But lately its been hard, Yes I nailed my interview for pet sitting one weekend a month. But what about an everyday job...

I've given up almost on trying to get one because I have no experience in ANYTHING but Babysitting and Pets...

Blank

Right now everything just hits me at once. Seeing my ex move from girl to girl you its funny to think wow was I really just another girl did he really care? He cheated on me not just once but multiple times. But really I should be happy I'm not admitting anything just saying that I found a guy that means a lot to me I wish I could be with him everyday, He makes me happy he can always make me smile no matter what happened that day.

But I can't help but feel like I'm almost alone.. Yeah I talk to people but it's not the same. I'm always at home, I can't get a job, I feel useless, I know for a fact that I've lost my best friend and she may never come back, Almost all the friends I had in high school are gone.

Another thing I wish would happen is that I wish memories could fade with the past, I can see a name or face and it will bother me or I see a car come up around the corner or get to close to the car I freak out, For a while I had a phobia of cars, stupid I know but I'm scared I'm afraid almost petrified.

They all say as you get older life gets better, or things get worse before they get better, But when do they get better? I feel like I've lost so much in the past year that parts of my heart are missing.

Things maybe getting better for my family but what about me.. I maybe being selfish but I feel like its been to long time since I've been able to say everything in my life is good and not just parts.

Crepes!

Sadly I don't know how to do the the cool squiggly accent over the e but Crepes are freakin delicious man!

I can't believe I've gone 18 years and never having them!

I was yelled at by a belgian to eat them!

But there really good and i suggest you try them if you haven't.

Same with swedish pancakes!

Haha thats all I have to say now bye bye!

Stress.

I tend to stress myself out.

Especially when it comes to school.

I procrastinate.

I hate it, I do it to myself then I have myself stressed and freaking out and just worried.

What happens after that? I might get sick I might not get to doing my work and it takes longer.

I need to stop. I've done it for years. So it's time for a change!

And hopefully I can do it!

Wish me luck!

So question.

Do you procrastinate?

Have you ever?

Leave a comment below! Don't be shy! I don't bite.

How much more.....?

How much more can I take of this....

You make where I can't see your profile but I can still see what you write on other peoples wall's..

You tell me it kills you to be around anyone and that you need your time...

That was only 2 days ago..

You don't know how much this hurts me that your pushing me away.....

I want to cry so hard right now but I can't I'm trying to be strong...

I feel like my heart is slowing being ripped to pieces.. I hop you read this because It show how much that all this is hurting me...

But how much more can I take before I break..  I don't even know..

Happy New Years!

Happy new years to everyone!

Its the last day of the year and its been one crazy year!

So many things have happened.

From deaths to movies, good and bad news. Graduations and College.

So many things and soo much more to come.

I hope everyone has a good new year and have a great year ahead of you.

New Years Resolutions.

Do you have any?
Would you like to share if so?

Mine.. To have at least a good year no depression no sadness, Do good in school  and get a job of some sort.

Comment below! vvvvv

Reading.

 For Christmas I got a kindle.

Me, truthfully am not a big reader UNLESS I find a book that interests me and lately I've been finding my self reading more often then I ever have in my life! (probably because now its a lot cheaper to do so cause of all the free ebooks)

Anyway I will admit I've found out that I like the Paranormal/Romance books but there are a lot others that I'm liking and I have to say that getting this kindle has been amazing!

So what are your favorite type of books to read?
Do you like to read?
Do you have any Recommendations?
Do you want recommendations from me?

Well thats all I have to say! Have a nice day!